How Are You?
What if being open and honest about even the hard truths we live through could make a difference in our abilities to heal ourselves and through doing so make us closer and kinder to each other on a much higher level, and maybe even create more happiness and less loneliness as a result?
Ever get asked that question and suddenly feel like there’s a shotgun with the weight of the world pointed at you? For a moment your mind races to think about how best to respond to this seemingly innocent and caring question.
When you’d really like to tell them you’re having a hard time, maybe you’re lonely, you’re mental health is struggling, you’re feeling insecure, or a mess, trying to heal a lifetime of trauma and you’re exhausted. Or maybe you’d just like someone to hug you and tell you that you’ll be ok.
This is what I wish I could let others know, but instead, I smile and hold my breath as I reply with “I’m fine, everything's going great thank you!” and as I say those words ‘I’m fine’ I feel the universe swallow me up, my chest and my throat tighten, my muscles tense a little more and the knots in my stomach get a little bigger while my heart feels like it’s about to burst out of its cage. But still, I smile and go about like I’m ‘Just fine!’
So how about you? Does this sound a little familiar to you? Have we been so conditioned by modern societies ideas of what is proper etiquette and are so afraid to show others our truths and weaknesses for fear of what exactly? What is the worst that could possibly happen if we were truly honest about how we are feeling and what we are going through? The concept of social media’s highlight real and possibly our innate human nature to continuously strive for perfectionism has seeped so deep into our mindsets and way of being that we edit ourselves constantly to those around us, in the hopes to maintain some idea of aspirational success. What if the idea of success could look different? What if being open and honest about even the hard truths we live through could make a difference in our abilities to heal ourselves and through doing so make us closer and kinder to each other on a much higher level, and maybe even create more happiness and less loneliness as a result?
The world is definitely changing, but change is slow, and how do we live our lives in the fullest way possible in the meantime? We can remind each other of all the kindness and beauty that does exist on this planet despite everything. The next time you ask someone how they are doing, why not take a moment to be really present with them, listen to what they have to say, and maybe, just maybe, the next time someone asks “how are you” try telling them the honest truth, you never know where it could lead you!
