Above Snakes and running with the Devil

“Above Snakes and Running with the Devil means that you’re still alive and filled with a fire to keep on fighting,”

…“never giving up, no matter how hard it gets! Being able to shed what no longer serves you and finding inner resilience and strength.”

What does Above Snakes mean? well I’ll tell you! It’s an old western cowboy saying that means still alive, I thought fitting for this series. Above Snakes and Running with the Devil means that you’re still alive and filled with a fire to keep on fighting, never giving up, no matter how hard it gets! Being able to shed what no longer serves you and finding inner resilience and strength.

I stare at my laptop for hours trying to muster enough clarity to be able to do something, anything. It’s been a week since things got to a point where I was advised to distance and isolate as much as I can. I have Asthma, which means I’m vulnerable. But this is the thing, I also live in a house with a 16-year-old teenager that thinks she’s invincible, my stepmom who’s 60 and also at risk and happens to have had a cough for a while now, but has the carefree attitude of a rebel that won’t let anyone tell her what to do, which normally is a wonderful thing but in the midst of a global pandemic somewhat unnerving.  And my husband, who so far is safe and amazing. Something you also might want to know, I have severe anxiety & depression as a result of c-PTSD which is a long story that we’ll save for another day. To sum up, this medley of ingredients makes up for a rather chaotic, awkward and at times difficult cake to eat. And let me tell you I love cake! 

This is my attempt to tell a little of my story, to share the complexities of the inner workings of a brain that thinks with both logic and chaos at the same time, that can work out every risk assessment of a situation within minutes and then trick myself into believing it is all actually happening. Maybe you can identify with some of this too, maybe you’ll feel like this is exactly you! Maybe this will entertain you a little, maybe you’ll think I’m completely mad! Whatever you feel, is ok and if it helps just one soul, I’ll be happy.